As neurodivergent people, we go through our lives constantly being misunderstood. We are often judged for the way we present ourselves and interact with other people because we don’t align with the typical behaviours others expect.
You can imagine how these communication and social challenges compound when you enter the workplace. Suddenly, there are tons of unspoken rules and expectations that you are expected to conform to, and we are left with almost no way to navigate these complexities.
During an Office Hours Live Q&A, Veronica Yao and Alexandra Lioznov hosted a discussion on communication in the workplace, where they answered questions from neurodivergent professionals. We’ve got the recap for you below, as well as the full recording of the session!
About The Experts
Veronica Yao is a career coach who specializes in supporting neurodivergent professionals in navigating their careers. She is also the owner of Atypical Careers. She says that the workplace is often not designed with neurodivergent individuals in mind, which compounds the daily challenges that her clients face. Veronica is passionate about helping her clients build sustainable work lives, break free from burnout, and advocate for themselves in their professional environments.
Joining her is guest expert Alexandra (Alex) Lioznov, a neurodiversity-affirming speech language pathologist and communication coach, as well as owner at Neurodiverse City Connection. Alex has dedicated her career to supporting neurodivergent adults, helping them improve their communication skills and navigate social challenges.
Why Are Neurodivergent Professionals Misunderstood at Work?
“If two people have different communication styles, it becomes very hard to be on the same page and to feel understood, heard, and validated.”
– Alexandra Lioznov, Neurodiverse City Connection
Neurodivergent individuals often find themselves misunderstood in the workplace due to differing communication styles. “Most autistic adults that I’ve worked with tend to be very direct, and they often miss social cues,” says Alex, referring to her experience working as a speech language pathologist and coach. “If two people have different communication styles, it becomes very hard to be on the same page and to feel understood, heard, and validated.”
This dynamic often leads to misinterpretations, especially in environments where direct communication is not the norm. Neurodivergent professionals may also struggle to convey their thoughts clearly, leading others to misread their intentions. This could be due to a number of factors, including:
Auditory processing disorder
Those who have trouble processing information, especially in a verbal conversation, may not be able to respond quickly enough to maintain the expected “flow” of conversation.
Poor memory
Many neurodivergent folks struggle to hold details in their brain, which can cause miscommunications and misunderstandings in the workplace.
Sensory challenges
If you are feeling understimulated or overstimulated, it can be difficult to focus on communicating and being present in conversation.
Rejection sensitivity
Communication requires you to risk experiencing rejection or conflict, which can result in neurodivergent people avoiding engagement as much as possible.
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Requesting Accommodations in the Workplace for Neurodivergent Professionals
What Are the Most Common Types of Miscommunication Neurodivergent Professionals Experience at Work?
When miscommunications happen in the workplace, it isn’t because you as a neurodivergent professional did something “wrong”. Attaching the concept of morality (“good” vs “bad” communication) is a quick recipe for shame and guilt, and that’s not going to help anyone.
“It’s not necessarily our fault that the way that we communicate doesn’t align with the people around us,” says Veronica, highlighting the fact that neither neurodivergent nor neurotypical communication styles are “right” or “wrong”. The issue stems from the disconnect itself, which highlights need for greater awareness and understanding from both parties.
Literal vs non-literal language
One of the most common challenges is the use of literal vs non-literal language. Neurodivergent folks tend to express themselves directly and plainly, while neurotypical folks tend to rely on subtext and social cues to contextualize their communication. This can lead to a lot of misunderstandings and create problems at work.
Tone and body language
Tone and body language is another big disconnect. A lot of neurodivergent professionals struggle with feedback that they seem angry or unapproachable due to the expressions on their face or lack of inflection in their voice.
A friendly question like “what are you doing?”, might be misinterpreted as hostile and accusatory because the message was not delivered with the expected tone and body language (i.e. monotone without smiling).
The Difference Between Masking and Code Switching
One of the most common questions neurodivergent professionals ask is “how can I appear more normal?” This question usually comes from the assumption that the only way to survive in the workplace is to change the way you present yourself and interact with others.
During the discussion, Alex brought up the difference between the terms “masking” and “code switching” – terms commonly used when working with her neurodivergent clients in her speech language pathology work.
Masking refers to the practice of hiding one’s neurodivergent traits to fit into societal norms. It is most commonly attributed to the autistic community, and most often results in severe burnout due to the demands of living inauthentically.
Code switching involves adjusting one’s communication style based on the audience. All people, regardless of their neurotype, engage in code switching. For instance, think about how you behave with your close friends and family versus how you would behave in front of your boss. How would your language style change? How would your body language change?
Alex states that based on these definitions, she would never advise her clients to mask – however, she does encourage them to practice code switching as a tool to navigate the workplace. Often times she practices these workplace interactions and scenarios to give them a chance to try code switching in a safe and supported environment.
The Importance of Self-Regulation for Good Communication
One of the most daunting parts of working with others is the effort it takes to manage not just your own responsibilities, but the perceptions of others.
This cognitive load can be overwhelming, which is precisely why it’s so important for employers to make efforts to meet their neurodivergent employees in the middle, and take some of the burden off them.
RELATED RESOURCE:
Coping Skills & Techniques for Neurodivergents in the Workplace
Self-regulation is crucial for effective communication. If you’re feeling dysregulated and overwhelmed, it becomes very difficult to express yourself constructively. That’s because your body and mind are in survival mode.
Alex emphasizes the need for neurodivergent individuals to develop strategies for returning to a baseline state before responding to unexpected situations. This can involve sensory regulation techniques or mindfulness practices.
Watch the full Office Hours Q&A recording below: